Friday, May 6, 2011

The Kickball Ramblings: Where's the Hate?

There’s one thing I’ve noticed missing from NAKID these days: Rivalries. 
Sure, there are some “friendly rivalries” like CSI vs. Harmless Puppies, but these are relatively tame.  I mean, can it really be considered a rivalry when the teams frequently intermingle, and half of the team members seemingly play together at a different day or time? 
In my book, a rivalry needs to be a little more than some good-spirited trash talk on Facebook.
I miss having real rivalries in which the teams involved genuinely dislike each other. I’m talking about hatred to the point where bones were broken, people were made to cry, and teams had to go to different bars afterwards to avoid fights breaking out.
Maybe part of the problem is that there just aren’t enough “bad guys” in the league.  What happened to teams like the Blumpkins, the Donkies, or the Ball Busters? Those teams were annoying to the point where other teams didn’t enjoy playing them, and people feared having to ref their games.
I mean, sure there are still some annoying teams in the league. But are any of them truly hateful enough to inspire a real rivalry?
TFL? They remind me of Starscream from the Transformers: dangerous, but more likely to hurt their own cause.
The Xtacles? Mostly harmless.
CSI?  The chanting may be a bit grating, but considering their poor kickball skills, does anybody really take them seriously?
So can anything be done to bring back the hate?
You can all help the cause by inciting some genuine bad blood between your team and your opponents.
During your next game, I encourage everyone to talk trash. And I’m talking mean, hurtful stuff, not just the standard “You suck!” Feel free to get really personal with your insults. If you’re not sure where to start, check if there’s a girl on the team who has a hotheaded boyfriend. She’ll make an ideal first target.
Also make sure you try to run up the score as much as possible, and taunt them mercilessly while doing so. Crushing your opponent only goes so far. You really need to rub it in their faces too.
And naturally, if there is an opportunity to run into one of the opposing players, I encourage you to take it. Even better is if you have to go out of your way to initiate the contact.
It also wouldn’t hurt to argue constantly with the refs. Even if you know the ref made the right call, you should still badger him about it. That will teach him to ever make a call against your team!
If everyone does their part, then we can have genuine rivalries back in no time!

Weekly Trivia Question:
The answer to last week’s question: Jim Davis was the first ever NAKID King of the Table.
Alena was the only person to correctly answer this (and it was easy for her since she used to make out with Jim all the time). She will receive her 20 cent prize the next time I see her.
This week’s question:
How many seasons of NAKID indoor kickball have there been?
As usual, answer via comment or email to  Correct answers get special mention along with a 20 cent prize.
And as always, we conclude with a link that may (or may not) be an embarrassing picture of Dan Boger:


  1. On behalf of Munich Kickball Disaster 1958, I accept the challenge. Given that Tom Edson's on the team we play this week, this won't be a problem.

  2. so basically be like WAKA then. lame.