Monday, January 30, 2012

Kickball Ramblings: Enter the Snowman

The calendar says January, so that means that NAKID is back in action for its always thrilling winter season.  Of all the NAKID seasons that begin in January, I’d definitely have to rate winter as my favorite.
So what’s new this year?  I’m glad you asked!
Remember how the winter shirts used to feature icicles on the logo?  Well, the icicles are still there, just a little less prominent than before.  If you’re a fan of New Year’s Eve specials (and who isn’t?) then the icicles are kind of like Dick Clark.  They might still be around, but they’re largely just ornamental at this point.  Not to mention, they both probably leak water all over the floor.
So who is the Ryan Seacrest that has stolen top billing from the icicles?  A snowman.  And not just any snowman - an EVIL snowman!
He certainly doesn't look like a happy, jolly soul
In all fairness, I’m not sure if the snowman is actually evil.  Maybe I just assumed that he was evil because he’s got a crooked grin on his face and he looks like he’s about to chuck the snowball at somebody’s head.
Or I might just be thinking about this commercial from the Super Bowl.
So who do you think would win in a fight: The sun from the summer season shirts, the pumpkin from the fall, or the snowman?

As evil as he may be, I don't see the snowman winning this battle, because I figure the sun would simply melt him down.  So I guess it's a battle between the pumpkin and the sun. 

The epic showdown for NAKID logo supremacy!
Now that I think about it, the sun is hot enough to melt a pumpkin too.  Have you ever thrown a pumpkin into the sun?  Neither have I, but my basic understanding of astronomy leads me to believe that a pumpkin would be vaporized long before it reached the surface.
Then again, this is clearly no ordinary pumpkin we’re dealing with.  It seems to be some sort of demonic pumpkin.  For those of you who remember the cartoon The Real Ghostbusters, you might notice the resemblance to Samhain, the Halloween themed ghost from the show.
Pumpkin head + flowing robe = evil

So if this is indeed Samhain, then that changes everything.  Because Samhain had the power to manipulate time and bring about constant night*.  If he could do that, then he could simply prevent the sun from ever rising.  Game over.

Of course, the sun could just bury Samhain under a giant pile of raisins.  Because that’s what anthropomorphic suns do.
Either way, the snowman clearly isn’t winning this battle.  But on the positive side, he’s wearing a scarf, and everyone knows that’s what the cool kids do in the winter months.
Retro Cereal of the Week
We may all be familiar with kellogg’s Raisin Bran cereal, but back in the 80’s, they also had a Raisin Squares cereal.
If anyone ever asks what the 80's were like, just show them this box

It was basically shredded wheat with a raisin on the inside.  Unlike some of these other failed cereals, the concept seems sound.
But apparently, America wasn’t ready for shredded wheat and raisins to be combined.  We prefer our raisin brans and our shredded wheat quite separate from each other, thank you very much!  On the other hand, the cereal lives on in Great Britain where tastes are slightly more eccentric.
The Boger Meme (or as suggested to me: LOLger)

Here's another taste of everyone's favorite NAKID admin.

*Learning about Samhain's powers was made much more difficult by Wikipedia's self-blackout.  Thanks a lot, SOPA and PIPA!