While every kickball team has a name, not every team name is going to be a great one. Some team names may inspire awe and fear in the hearts of their opponents, while others may simply bring about mockery.
I will take a look at some of the various team names throughout the league, and give a brief analysis:
Sex Cymbal – I understand that cymbal and symbol are homonyms, but I don’t get the significance of the name. Does the team own a lucky cymbal? Are there drummers on the team? Since I’ve seen no evidence of that, it seems like they’re simply using a homonym for the sake of using a homonym. (And that sets the record for most times the word homonym has been used in a kickball related blog!)
The Pink Team – Well, their shirt color is pink, so I guess they’re being honest. Still, this is the best they could come up with? This is the least creative name since “Dave Matthews Band.”
Junkyard Dawgs – Didn’t the whole “misspell a word to make it seem cooler” fad die off in the early 2000s? Why not go the whole nine yards and call yourselves the Junkyard Dawgz? Ending the word in a Z makes it even better!
Monumental Balls – Nicely done. They’re implying that they have huge testicles, while also making a reference to Washington ,D.C. I do love me a double entendre.
We’ve Got Tiger Blood – Charlie Sheen references are SO early March.
Tiger’s Blood – Is having an almost identical name as another team kind of like showing up to prom and finding another girl wearing the same dress?
I Kicked a Ball and I Liked it – See what they did here? They took the name of a popular song title and changed the words so that it relates to kickball. The problem with song related names is that they become dated really fast.
Kick Me…Baby One More Time – See above, except add an extra eight years to the song reference.
Too Legit to Kick – See above, but add another eight years on top of that.
Abe Drinkin – I have to admit, this one makes me laugh every time I see it.
Spearmint Platypus – Now this is a great name. What does it mean? Is it a reference to something that I simply don’t (or can’t) understand? You just know that a team with a name like this has to be great.
Menace to Sobriety – I told them I’d write something nice about them in the Brew, so I will compliment their team name. Yes, there are lots of teams with pun names involving drinking, but this is one of the better ones.
Drinking You Pretty – This name is just classic and sums up the NAKID experience.
Spitzer Swallows – Speaking of dated references…I don’t know whether to credit their perseverance in sticking with the same name all these years, or criticize them for their lack of relevance.
kicksЯus – Good job with making the R backwards. That turned a potentially lame name into a very good one.
Y’all Ready For This?!?! – I don’t get why they switched from being THAT Team. THAT Team was pretty accurate in describing them. And does the name really require two exclamation points and two question marks? Having one punctuation mark adds character. But four? That just seems like overcompensation.
Ballsagna Bubble Bees – I’m not sure what this name is all about, but it is alliterate, so that counts for something.
Oregon Ducks – I guess this is the Oregon alumni team or something? I realize that you want to rep your school and all, but you couldn’t have been at least a little more clever? How about the “Quack Pack,” or something along those lines? (On second thought, Quack Pack is even lamer than Oregon Ducks. Forget I suggested it.)
Munich Kickball Disaster 1958 – This one is so goofy that it works.
Drink Kick Drink! – They’ve basically summed up the kickball experience in their team name. And I like the fact that the name includes an exclamation point.
Last week’s answer: Diet Coke contains more sodium in a 12 oz can.
This week’s question: Which of these NAKID teams has never won the flip cup Championship of the Universe?
B. Drinking You Pretty
D. Sex Cymbal
As always, answers can be emailed to TreachX@yahoo.com or submitted as a comment to this post. Correct answers earn a $0.20 prize.
Link that may (or may not) be an embarassing picture of Dan Boger: