Friday, July 29, 2011

First Thursday Games: Ball Soup

Ok, the weather was nasty. But the kickball was fun, right?

Last night NAKID started up its Thursday night kickball, volleyball, and dodgeball games. Kickballers were, as the title implies, sitting in ball soup. Volleyball and dodgeball players: Don't you just love the A/C at the Y?? The games went great--veterans reunited, newbies initiated (The Paddling of the Swollen Ass...With Paddles), zero arrests (that we know of)--a great start!

It's just like the Wreck of the Hesperus...
After the games the bars were packed with the brave souls who decided at some point you just can't get any sweatier so you might as well drink beer until you cool off. Or pass out. In any case, you won't notice the humidity. Lots of flip cup was going on, and rumor has it a One Flip was kicking ass!

The Brew promises to actually have pictures for next week, but in the meantime, here is a pic the Brew has had in its pocket for a while but never found the right moment. Right moment, meet the Brew:

Take it all in, ladies
 You can thank Adam from Balls Deep for that one.

Have any LOTW noms? Funny pictures? Want to help out the Brew (especially volleyball/dodgeball people because the Brew can't be in two places at once)? Email or post in the comments section!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Kickball Ramblings: Summer is here!

Welcome back!  I trust everyone enjoyed their time away from NAKID, because NAKID is back…and BETTER THAN EVER!
That may not be entirely true, but it certainly seems to be hotter than ever.  I hope you all like sweating.
It’s been some time since I wrote anything for the Brew. Right after the spring season ended, I had started on an expansive column about the playoffs, but sadly, I got distracted, and never finished it.  Perhaps I’ll save it for the summer playoffs. Feel free to wait with bated breath.
So is anything new for the summer season? Absolutely! In addition to the aforementioned heat, our shirts now have suns on them! I like the idea that the different seasons will have different shirt themes. Since some of us have a legion of old shirts, it’s nice to get a little variety.

Meanwhile, hundreds in DC go without
That picture is courtesy of Sharon Y, and in exchange for its use, I promised to write a future column comparing NAKID to the TV show Saved by the Bell. But I wonder how many people in NAKID even remember that show. For the under-25 set, that’s got to be before your time, right?
I suppose I could compare NAKID to the Power Rangers instead. There are a lot of similarities between the two. For instance, both involve people wearing colorful outfits, both involve karate and giant robots, and of course, both are great excuses to get drunk.
Side rant: How did they get away with having the black guy play the Black Ranger and the Asian girl play the Yellow Ranger? Nobody complained about this? 
For those teams out there who enjoy having theme weeks, I fully encourage you to have “Power Ranger” week. I’m not sure how this would be carried out, but at the very least, you can have everyone on the team do the following: When you come to the plate for your turn to kick, do some dramatic karate poses, cross your arms, and scream out “Tyrannosaurus!”
If anyone actually does this and submits photographic (or even better, video) evidence, you will get a special mention in the Brew.
Retro Cereal of the Week
With a new season, I’ve decided to try out a new special feature in which I take a look back at a now defunct cereal of the past.
Why? Because I find this kind of stuff to be interesting.
This week’s entry is C-3P0s!
If there’s one thing that George Lucas is good at – aside from adding unnecessary CGI to his classic movies – it is licensing out his films.  There are few products in America that haven’t ever had some sort of Star Wars tie-in.
In the summer of 1983, Return of the Jedi was a huge hit in theaters.  With children everywhere figuratively devouring everything related to Star Wars, it only made sense that they could literally do so as well.
And so we were given C-3P0s cereal!  Here’s a link to a commercial:
I have to say that they really could have tried a little harder.  In a Star Wars cereal, you’d expect maybe marshmallow shaped like lightsabers,  or at the very least, cereal pieces shaped like stars.  Instead, they essentially gave us two Cheerios stuck together.  Very disappointing.
Trivia Question
Mostly because I’m tired of giving Alena money, I am temporarily suspending the trivia questions.  Instead, starting next week, I will have a special challenge for you all.
But in case you were all desperately wondering, I will reveal the answer to the last question:
Beauty and the Beast was the first full-length animated feature to be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar.
Rachel P correctly answered the question, and is due 20 cents. 
Request to the Readers
I have a favor to ask of all of you: If you take umbrage with anything I write, you can email your complaints directly to me at
Don’t send your complaints to the main NAKID account because they’re generally busy answering emails from players who stupidly hooked up with one of their teammates and now want to be moved to a new team. 
On the other hand, I am fueled by your hatred, so I’d love to hear if your feelings were hurt because I said your team had a stupid name. I’ll probably even answer your email because I’m stuck in front of a computer for most of the day and I need some distractions.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

For new players...

...who are looking for info about NAKID, check out our NAKID 101 post. Here you'll find contact info and some things you need to know about the league.

Here are some updates for the dodgeball and volleyball folks:

Where do we play?
The YMCA at 17th and Rhode Island, NW. It's metro accessible--closest stations are Farragut North (red) and Farragut West (orange and blue).

How long are the games?
Volleyball: Best two out of three, or 45 minutes.
Dodgeball: Best of nine, no game lasts longer than 4 minutes.

I have my cooler packed with beers. Where do I set up?
NOT AT THE Y! You are absolutely not allowed to drink nor be drunk at the Y. You will be kicked out of the Y and the league if you are caught. We don't like to kick people out of the league, so just wait until after your games to booze.

Ok, the game's over and I need beer. Where do I go?
Sign of the Whale (1825 M St. NW)! They have volunteered to let us take over their bar on Sundays and Thursdays. Try not to scare the locals.

It's raining. Are we still playing?
Really? We're indoors. Next question.

The other questions apply to volleyball/dodgeball as well, so now you should be good to go!

NAKID Dodgeball/Volleyball!

The NAKID summer season kicked off this weekend with our first love, kickball; our mistress, dodgeball; and our new chick we're hoping will be cool with this arrangement, volleyball!

What, no aviators?

Contemplating a target...
After the games we headed to NAKID's brand new sponsor bar, Sign of the Whale! They graciously allowed us to invade their space on a Sunday afternoon to play flip cup and consume copious amounts of beer. It was amazing to walk into the bar and hear the cheering coming from upstairs--NAKID was definitely in the house.

The Brew has no LOTW to report, but we're hoping you brave souls who lasted through the night will send your stories to! If you do, we'll update the blog and you'll get a bandana and bragging rights!

The Brew would like to also give a shout out to best play of the day she saw: a player who shall remain nameless getting hit in the crotch with the ball during dodgeball and getting called out when he failed to catch it. Sorry, pain does not equal a pass.

I Don't Remember Saying That:

"Oh my god, you're awful!" -- Chris, The Bumpits

"They're not even aiming for our hole." -- Unknown

Help Out the Brew!
If you have a LOTW nom, funny quote overheard from the bar, funny story, or picture you'd like featured, email or leave it in the comments below!

If you'd like to join the ranks of the Brew, email Reporters and photographers are needed!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

End of the Season LOTWs!

The Brew got some end-of-season LOTW noms from the last Sunday games that we decided to share, because we hope these stories inspire drunken shenanigans in the rest of NAKID in the summer season! The first winner:

Jess from CSI! From her captain: "I think Jess on CSI deserves to win LOTW because she got hammered after the game and initiated a best nipple contest with anyone who was willing. She also thought grabbing Pat's (her BF) and Kelly's (her captain) crotches at once was grounds for the start for an awesome threesome. AND once we got to playing flip cup she represented like a champ. Story wrap up: she grabbed Pat's crotch many a time and made out with Kelly four times. WIN!!!!!!!  GO JESS! MVP OF THE GAME AND BARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!" Sounds good to us! Congrats, Jess!

The second winner:

Jay from Harmless Puppies! This nom comes from an anonymous player on Harmless Puppies: "Jay came in, possibly still drunk from the night before. Jay ordered huckleberry lemonade at brunch, did surprisingly well at kball, did Century Club post-game, attempted bicentennial, failed & passed out in the booth. Subsequently, Jay tried to go to Camelot, got rejected bc of drunkenness, & took shots at Mighty Pint. Way to rally Jay!!"

We're sure these players have signed up for the Summer season (because how can you stay away from the awesomeness of NAKID when you have this much fun?), but if you haven't, register now! The season starts in just a few weeks--you don't want to miss it!