NAKID 101

For all of you who haven't played since you were picked last in gym class and for those of you who have been playing since but have forgotten the true meaning of kickball (beer), we at the Brew have decided to do a preemptive strike and answer most of the questions you have about NAKID and what this league is all about. We hope our answers will help you be a better player--or at least not look totally lost this season.

But first let's meet some people you'll want to know in case you have questions or problems and need help. This is Dan:

Fear his wrath

Dan is NAKID's eccentric tyrannical ruler. He oversees NAKID operations, runs the website, and has three years of modern dance. If you have a question or problem, he's the one who will help you out. Email nakid2009@gmail.com to reach him.

This is Dave:

The One True Whalen

Dave runs the kickball operations for NAKID. He sets up the fields each day and assigns teams. Captains, talk to Dave to find out where you're playing. Then go to the bar after the games and Dave will spank you in flip cup. True story.

This is Frank:

Frank the Tank

Frank is in charge of dodgeball and volleyball on Sundays and Thursdays at the Y. He will tell you where or whom your team is playing and answer questions about rules and settle disputes. He will also get you ref beer at the bar. He could be persuaded to dance for quarters. Time will tell.

This is Erin:

Erin Mother Fuckin' Reilly

Erin is in charge of NAKID's events. When you go to an event Erin's smiling face will greet you and, if you're nice, she'll bring you beer. If you have suggestions for events, put them on our Meetup site and Erin will see about setting it up.

This is the Brewer, Danielle:

Danielle SuperItalianlastname

Danielle writes the Brew (including this post, and in our unbiased opinion, she's awesome). If you have suggestions for Brew articles, email her at weeklybrew@gmail.com or find her after games or at events.

In addition, on the NAKID website you'll find some pics of other NAKIDs that you can go to with questions or problems, and if they can't help you, they'll find someone who can. 

Now, on to your questions:

Where do we play?

We play at 3rd St. NW and Madison, right in front of the Capitol on the Mall. The closest metro stops are Judiciary Square (red line) and Federal Center SW (orange/blue lines). For those driving, your best bet is to park at the bars and walk over--it's only three blocks.

How long are the games?

Games are seven innings or one hour, whichever comes first.

What if I can't make it to a game?

Let your captain know. All teams field five men and five women each week, and no-shows cause unneeded stress. Payphones still exist, so there's no excuse for not letting your captain know you're going to miss a game. If you don't have your captain's number, send smoke signals.

I have my cooler packed with beers. Where do we set up?

At home. We play on a National Parks and Rec area, so no alcohol. If you are caught with it, you will be kicked out of NAKID and get a ticket or jailed. Everyone will claim to not know who you are, then we will follow you to jail and bail you out with pennies. 

I am short one guy and a hottie is walking by. Can we snag him for the game?

NO! You will have to start out the game down a run and take an out whenever that person would have come up. Instead, drunk dial the no-show all night--that'll teach him.

Ok, the game's over and I need beer. Where do I go?

My Brother's Place at 237 2nd St. NW or Hamilton's at 223 2nd St. NW (right next door to each other!). Cheap beer, three floors and two outside patios. Just make sure you are wearing your NAKID shirt so you can get the specials ($10 Bud Light pitchers). And DON'T carry your beer between the bars--finish your cup or pitcher before you move.

I want to go to the bar. Why do I have to ref a game?

The team(s) that are not playing in a certain week are not off--you are our officials! We need each team to have at least eight refs out who know the rules! Send out clueless umpires and you will get the same. For doing this, you get five FREE pitchers of beer! Hmmm...eight people, five pitchers--that's a good start on winning Lush of the Week!

It's 2pm on Thursday and raining. Are we still gonna play?

Put this number in your phone book: 703-625-4348. That's the NAKID hotline; call for updates when the weather is looking dodgy. You can also follow the NAKID hotline on Twitter. As a general rule, yes, we'll play in rain unless there's lightning. But if games are canceled, don't fret: there is free beer at the bars (you must wear your NAKID shirt for the free beer), so come out and play flip cup!

It's been a few weeks and I don't mesh with my team. They aren't big drinkers and I carry a flask with me to AA. What can I do?

Trades are allowed as long as shirts are swapped and everyone is okay with the moves. Email nakid2009@gmail.com to find a suitable trade.

How do I contact my captain?

If you log onto the website you will see contact info for your captain as well as everyone else on your team. Happy stalking!

Are there practices?

Well, it varies by team, but generally no. Some teams throw the ball around and kick a little right before their games, but no one organizes a specific time and place to do it. Fields are usually set up an hour before game time, so you can practice then.

I played in other leagues and people didn't really socialize outside of their team, but I want to. Help!

Luckily, you joined NAKID. We encourage mixing with everyone; this is why people join NAKID in the first place! Don't worry, except when at flip cup tables, people will be more than happy to chat you up--and maybe take you home.

I have suggestions to make NAKID better. Whom do I contact?

Just send your brilliant plans to nakid2009@gmail.com

If you have any other questions post them in the comments section and we'll answer!