Friday, April 29, 2011

Lush of the Week and One Flip

We're past week three of the Spring 2011 season and some of you may have noticed by now that some people are wandering around the kickball bars with bandanas on and wondered "What are those for?", "How can I get one?", and "Where did I leave my pants?"

The Brew can help you out with the first two questions, at least. First, let's tackle One Flip.

Hotness for Spring
One Flip is a game NAKID invented for the same reason we started the league in the first place: to facilitate drinking, meeting lots of people, and losing pants.

When you find One Flip, challenge him or her to a game of flip cup. Bring beer and six cups. Each person flips three cups; best two-out-of-three wins the challenge, and the winner gets the bandana. If One Flip loses the bandana, they cannot challenge the new One Flip they just lost to; they have to wait until the new One Flip loses then challenge that person. If One Flip wins five challenges in a night, he or she gets to keep the bandana.

Because NAKID has some pretty darn awesome flip cup players, we have an amateur and pro bandana. The amateur is someone who hasn't won a bandana for keeps yet. Once you do that, you're a pro and need to play with the big boys. If you consider yourself an amateur and challenge the pro you better bring your A-game--they're tough to beat! But challenging the pro is the best way to get better. Steal their techniques!

Next let's discuss Lush of the Week (LOTW).

Can you keep up?
The LOTW bandana is the most coveted of the NAKID swag because you can't just get it--you have to earn it, with blood, sweat, or other bodily fluids. Each week the Brew will pick the two lushiest of the alcoholics in NAKID to be LOTW. Stories from past LOTWs have included climbing under a parked van to get into shade (at 10pm), puking/passing out/hooking up on the metro, and pole dancing at MBP like you're trying to pay your way through college.

However, the Brew is all-powerful but still not omnipresent, so if you see some particularly lushy behavior, take a pic of the drunk and send it with your nomination to Winners can pick up their bandanas at the bar the following week.

Now, have you seen my pants?

Love in NAKID? - Kickball Ramblings

In the past, I’ve discussed the difficulties that people can experience when searching for love in NAKID. I had come to the conclusion that most people should basically give up all hope and resign themselves to dying alone.

But I’ve now changed my tune, as I have seen that true love is actually possible between two NAKIDs.

Mitch and Amy first met at a NAKID event back in February 2009. Their relationship quickly blossomed, resulting in their marriage earlier this year.

I decided to ask them some questions in the hopes that their tale will bring hope to the rest of you
forlorn souls.

When you joined NAKID, did you have – even in the back of your mind – the idea that the league
might be a good way to meet a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Mitch: Yes

Amy: I had dated two other kickballers before. But even with the lack of success, I kept trying!

How did you meet?

Mitch: I had signed up for the spring season while the winter season was still going on. After attending a spring scrimmage, I was invited to come by the Exchange on a Thursday night. The next week, I stopped by the bar after work, when I saw Amy come in and yell at Andy D. about a bad call he made while reffing her game.

I thought she was fiery and cute and decided to introduce myself. She didn’t notice, but Andy was desperate to get out of the tongue lashing, so he said “Amy, I think this guy is trying to say hello to you.”

I’m not sure of what I said (I can only assume I was charming and witty) but we got a conversation going and hit it off.

Amy: I was irritated with Andy over a call. I was aware that a guy in a tie (Which I thought was weird – who was he trying to impress?) was sitting behind me and staring. I ignored Mitch until Andy pointed him out. He seemed nice enough and I saw him again at a happy hour the next night.

Authors Note: The moral of this story is that if you disagree with a ref’s call, you should yell at him about it. It might lead to finding your soul mate. I’m joking of course. Mostly.

Was it love at first sight?

Mitch: Maybe, I was certainly interested and couldn’t wait to see her again. I think it was love at second sight.

Amy: Eh, not love. I was freshly out of a sort of terrible relationship and I definitely thought for the first few dates that this was a rebound and just for fun. About a month later I knew I would marry him.

Authors Note: For some reason, she decided to tell this to my wife. Predictably, my wife promptly texted this information to Mitch.

Seeing how kickball relationships are often discussed in the league gossip mill (often by me), was it difficult to maintain the relationship?

Mitch: I nipped the gossip in the bud and divulged any unpleasant gossip to Amy before she heard anything from other sources. Otherwise, no, it didn’t have any effect on our relationship.

Amy: There was some “gossip” about Mitch, but he divulged this to me on our first formal date, and I didn’t care because I thought it was just a fling. So the relationship was not made more difficult by the rumor mill. It was possibly made more entertaining.

Is it strange to be in a monogamous relationship while the rest of the league seemingly whores it up?

Mitch: Not really. I found my diamond amongst the cubic zirconia.

Amy: I’m a serial monogamist, so I don’t really know another way of life. And I find it extremely entertaining to watch others whore it up. (Especially one of the captains of my team)

Any advice to others out there hoping to find true love in NAKID?

Mitch: Make sure you don’t make kickball your one and only source of fun. Also, while you may not meet under circumstances that others may consider romantic, be sure to make up for it somehow. Stay classy!

Amy: Avoid being someone’s sloppy seconds. That is all.

Thank you, Mitch and Amy! May you have years of married bliss!

Trivia Question

I’ll admit that last week’s trivia question was more of a social experiment. I figured that every single person would guess that Ed Hochuli was my favorite all-time NFL referee and I was correct. But the correct answer is the now-retired Bernie Kukar.

This week’s trivia will actually have something to do with NAKID:

Who was the first ever NAKID Flip Cup King of the Table?

Answers can be submitted as a blog comment or email to Everyone who answers correctly will get a mention next week, and the first person to correctly answer gets a 20 cent prize. (Limit one guess per person)

And we’ll conclude with yet another link that may (or may not) be an embarrassing picture of Dan Boger:

Friday, April 15, 2011

Mike Lacy's Kickball Ramblings!

For those of you who have been in NAKID for a couple of years, you may fondly remember the days
of the Kickball Ramblings. As part of the Weekly Brew (some of you newer NAKIDs may not even
remember that!) I would provide commentary on all things NAKID.

After the Spring 2010 season, I temporarily retired from the game of kickball, and the column was taken
from you.  Since that day, although you might not have been able to identify exactly what it was, you
surely recognized that there was something missing from your life.

Fear not, for I have returned to fill that void. The Kickball Ramblings is (are?) back! But this time it is
(they are? I really need to figure out if it should be treated as a plural) brought to you in blog form! And
of course everything is better when in blog form.

For some of you, this may be the most important thing to happen in 2011. For others, it will at least give
you something to occupy your mind when you get bored in the afternoon.

At this point, you may be asking who I am and why am I taking up valuable blog space that could be used
for inane flip cup rankings that don’t have any real meaning.

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Mike Lacy. I’m a NAKID Hall of Famer, multiple time kickball
and flip cup champion, inventor of Death Cup! and an all-around great guy. If you’ve played against my
kickball team, you probably found me to be somewhat annoying. But that’s okay, because my team
probably won.
I am epic win
As for why I am taking up blog space? That’s because I am under the impression that the people
of NAKID should have to read my every kickball-related thought. And for some reason, the league
administrators agree!

Since this may be your first season with us, I’ll try to provide some pointers that will help you get
acquainted with the gloriousness that is NAKID and help make your time in the league better.

With that, I bring you…

Mike’s Guide to NAKID Culture: Part One - Winning at Flip Cup Takes Hard Work

If you’ve played kickball before but are new to NAKID, you may be somewhat confident in your flip cup
abilities. After all, back in your W*K* days, your teams were always among the best at the flip cup, so
you might think that you have a decent shot at winning yourself a flip cup championship here in NAKID.

There’s a good chance that you’re going to be disappointed.

NAKID is home to the best flip cup players in the world. Some NAKIDs have a flip cup medal collection
that would make Michael Phelps feel a bit inferior. Teams consisting of NAKID members routinely win
the World Series of Flip Cup as well as several other flip cup tournaments each year.

In other words, these people are insanely good at the game.

Can they be beaten? Yes. But in order to beat them, you and your teammates are probably going to
have to improve. You’re going to have to work on perfecting your flip cup technique and then play as
much as possible.

This may seem like quite a bit of work, so you can feel free to just play leisurely instead, and not concern
yourself with bringing home any hardware. In the long run, that’s probably going to be a lot more fun.

New Weekly Features!

Every week, in addition to the main content, I’ll try to provide some bonus content to keep you all
entertained. These might be a bit hit or miss, but I’m sure I’ll be able to weed out the losers quickly.

Random Question Asked to Unsuspecting NAKID

I will pick a person in the league and ask them a question that has little to do with anything.

For this week, I asked Alyssa F: Who is your favorite ancillary character on the Simpsons?

“Moe, because who wouldn’t want to own a bar? And for humor purposes, Cletus and Brandine.”

Random Trivia Question

The first person to answer correctly will get a mention in next week’s column as well as a 20 cent prize!

Who is my all-time favorite NFL referee? (Guesses can be left either as comments or emailed to Limit one guess per person)

Link that Absolutely, Definitely is not Porn

In the past, I used to provide links that may (or may not have) led to pornographic sites. You would
never know for sure until you clicked on the link. I felt it added just a tiny bit of adventure to everyone’s

But I have been told that I can no longer do that. (Apologies to Peter D)

But don’t worry, I won’t leave you completely empty handed. Instead, I will provide you with…

Links that may (or may not) be embarrassing pictures of Dan Boger!


That will do it for this week. Feel free to send any hate mail or questions to me at
If you send me an interesting or funny question, I may even answer it in a future column.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Kickin' off the season!

The NAKID Spring 2011 season kicked off this weekend with the Sunday and Thursday chapter parties, and as always, NAKIDs did not disappoint! We went through at least 38 kegs, countless jello shots, and saw lots of preseason makeouts. Just don't commit too early--why bring a sandwich to a buffet? (We know, we're a bad influence. It's what we do.)

Hamilton's kegs after our carnage
On Friday night, Sunday teams showed up in various get-ups to advertise the awesomeness of their teams and make everyone not on their team horribly jealous. We saw crazy hats, hoodies, caution tape (although NAKID typically *loves* to cross the line), and color themes. You packed the bars to capacity and were still going strong into the wee hours of the morning.

Thursday teams had their turn on Saturday. While your numbers weren't quite the same as Sundays (although we adjusted the curve since you're a smaller chapter to begin with), you still were jammed into MBP late into the night. The Brew would like to give a special shout out to the KILFS--so many of these guys show up to every party and go at it like rock stars. Way to embrace the spirit of NAKID, guys!

The Brew would like to take this opportunity to remind you all of a very, very important rule for all of our parties and games: Do NOT carry beer between the bars or over the fence! I.e., when you get a pitcher at Hamilton's, man up and drink it before you head to MBP. If you are caught trying to ferry the beer between the bars you WILL be kicked out and we can't guarantee they'll let you come back. Then your team will hate you forever for making them play a man down, and you'll lose out on what could be a very special lifelong relationship with NAKID. So please, don't be that guy.

If you have any pics, add the link in the comments (Facebook, Flickr, etc.) and we'll add them to the blog! Don't forget to find us on Facebook and Twitter!