However, on occasion the Brewer receives noms that tell a sad tale, in which the nominee is not so much funny and ridiculous as getting alcohol poisoning and being a burden to everyone around him/her.
To help you aspiring Lushes, the Brew has put together a guide on how to be the best LOTW and ensure a victory among the nominees. We've titled it "Don't Do What Johnny Don't Does":
"Johnny Don't" does pass out while stumbling to the metro and is vulnerable to being rolled by pickpockets and loose women.
"Johnny Don't" doesn't do due diligence and does drink too much...
...Ok, even the Brewer is getting confused now. Let's try this:
|Or you can motorboat yourself|
|Although, to be fair, girl-on-girl action is always acceptable|
DO: Chat with friends then hit on anything that moves while drinking delicious Bud Light pitchers.
DON'T: Drink so many pitchers while you're chatting you pass out in the bar and your friends have to carry you out.
|Close to unconsciousness|
DON'T: Drunkenly rant at the police officer about not wanting to live in a police state, then challenge him to a fight, saying your gun is bigger than his, resulting in your arrest.
DO: Celebrate a victory in flip cup with hugs, a slap on the ass, and making out in the corner.
DON'T: Celebrate a victory in flip cup by throwing beer all over yourself and others, then slipping and knocking yourself out on the wall.
|Disclaimer: She did NOT knock herself out, nor spill it on herself. But you get the idea.|
DO: Dance on the bar at MBP and work the pole like you're putting yourself through "college."
DON'T: Be so sloppy you fall off the bar onto a bartender.
So there you are. This list is not comprehensive, to be sure, but it should help those of you who are hoping to own a LOTW bandana of your very own.